response to a post on Gizmodo

It's interesting how many people are afraid to accept the fact that people are different and have different views about life. To be completely honest I respect someone willing to take on the challenge of a struggle like this. I work a 9-5 job and I have frankly become fed up with it, im planning on doing the same. Since I suck at writing or at least I think so myself I doubt I will be writing to feed myself but I will definitely leave the grasps of the US.

There is a huge difference in someone being lazy and someone just realizing that life as it is isn't all it needs to be. It's a shame how many people here in America can think exactly the same, let me not generalize and just say the Tri-State area since that is where I reside. Frankly once you travel your eyes are open to more than just what the media portrays life to be.

Not many Americans travel so its hard to have them understand that things are different outside and no the grass isn't green, its just different. You have a routine life where you simply exist in a world that is far greater than you and then you have the stimultion of life which I believe is experience to travel. I say go for it man there are few people who could do it if they so wanted to because they will never admit to it, you will alway be a lazy, underachieving and selfish person in their eyes but hey the world is based on judgements so let them judge.

Am I wrong because I think differently? Am I inhuman because I choose not to feel as much as the next? Am I crazy for questioning things rather than taking them as is because someone has said for them to be? Is being a realist soooo bad?

When I walk through life with no real care in the world or fear of death it doesn't mean I am unaware of the dangers that life has to offer it merely means I just choose not to waste time with pointless roadblocks.

Care? How does one show Care?

Can one not be caring without directly showing it?

I believe the answer to that is yes because there is such a thing as tough love and there is also something that cannot be seen but felt instead, its kinda like love. I don't believe in love well maybe just not for a person or at least not yet. Really to be honest I don't know what that means , the way its described seems like it should feel the way I feel when I sat atop Wayna Picchu staring out into the what seemed like endless mountains, It should feel how I felt when I stood at Iguazu Falls and stared at the powerfulness of the water crashing down into a pool that had been beaten upon endlessly in order to just become one... For this reason I don't know love because I don't feel that with people, can I feel that with a person? Maybe but my personality is a bit to come through.

Everyday "We" are judged, "We" are seen from the outside rather than the in, "We" are seen for what we choose to wear that very morning. It's a shame that life has become soooo Superficial, the constant worry about appearances and attitude.

I don't care but the society makes me care at times, it does I cannot lie and then I stop caring or go back to normal. What sucks is when you don't care and others do care you get left out to dry... meaning making a meaningful relationship gets missed out on and opportunities don't exist.

I contain the ability to feel like a normal human being but I also contain the ability to deliver it as I please...

~Kira

Time continues to tick away at me and I have no idea what I am doing...

I know what I want to do but since one door has closed I seem to be standing there with a door in my face instead of knocking it down or choosing a new one.

Confused at the situation im in right now, I choose to do nothing and this upsets me the most...

I have been thrown a bone as to what I need to do in order to get something I want but I have yet to nibble, What the fuck am I doing?

Have I given up?

I really don't know but it does feel as if I have given up.

Motivation doesn't seem to exist with me and so I blog yet again... Needing motivation I turn to my blog to push me out on that ledge.

What has happened to me?

I only wish I knew the answer to this question, my mind has been going in so many directions lately and I have no clue as to what I am to do or do I?

The only thing I can do is to go back on my word and look forward to something I know that I will enjoy, Snowboarding.

Snowboarding has been my out for the last few years, it has allowed me the ability of escape.

I have just completed one of the most amazing weekends of my life in a long time but it also leaves me pensive.

Maybe I do want "more" this more is something I will not blog about but I shall think about, who knows what will come of me?

I only hope that what ever choice I have to make, I make it sooner than later I need to do something. I am slowly dying inside and there is no one I can turn to... Constantly I think of taking another trip out of this country that seems to hold me in its evil grasps but fuck the noise I have to escape.

Recently I have re-established communication with a friend of mine and it has been great conversing with her but she offers very little towards my confusion... I do require her company though even if it isn't physical, the physical will come soon with someone else but until then she is my social escape that I require at the moment.

I need something more though and I want it now...

~Kira