I have recently been telling myself that I am just not myself... If this is the case and I'm not myself then who the fuck Am I? I cannot seem to find an answer... Somewhere in my mind there is a me or at least who I used to be and who I knew. As days go on and I watch my actions through some realm of which I can not act but only watch as my dark driver controls my every move. Why has this become what it is that I am? How do I regain control?

I ask many questions for which I have no answers... All I can do is search for the answers but as soon as I feel I have an answer my dark driver swerves and I fall back in the passenger seat...

Sometimes I wonder if I really want to regain control or if I'm happy with just allowing my dark passenger to take the wheel... Am I happy in this situation? No, I can't be because it's not me or at least not who I used to be. Used to be? Do I really remember who I was or are those just my joyous memories? I am pretty sure this isn't who I am or who I am supposed to be...

The desensitization of my soul and my mind has transformed me into inhuman being... I have somehow managed to control my emotions to a surprisingly scary level that I feel as if detached from humanity.... My mask of sanity isn't slipping anymore, it has fallen completely and I am bare...

Hopefully I can regain my control before it is too late...

~Kiraaaaaa