Ever get that feeling that your not the one in control of your own body? Sort of seems like your there but not there... Your kinda lingering over your own head watching as your life pans out the way it shall. Routinely carried out tasks makes this zombie of a person who is to be you goes about business and you can't interrupt for he/she can't hear you. Sort of like a dog being neglected by his owner, holding that leash, but the robot doesn't budge from his train track of a life. Change is the only way to derail this express service, when will the lay over happen again. Lay overs allows the doll to move and gather life for itself. Living is... Sometimes I think its too late, but carefree is the way to go. Too much to be seen... Eyes are open to the walls surrounding it and the sledge hammer is in hand, fuck that wall... I break things. I'm ready...

~KiRa

Super tired today... I should have really taken that nap instead of watching the first two terminators. I watched them as if I was going to go see the new movie, which is a long shot by far. I have gotten so much work done this morning and it didn't even hit 10am. Why is it that I work harder and more efficiently when I'm tired? Just doesn't make sense. Today I've been thinking a lot but not my normal thoughts more circular and away from the mind state I was in about a day or so ago, I guess its lack of sleep. I went from needing sleep badly over the weekend to depriving myself of sleep this week. Sooo tired and rambling on... I need something to get me up and going but I refuse to spend any money. Ha, I know who I shall raid for chocolate...
~Kira

The Need

There is a constant flame inside me that burns for something else, something I have yet to gather 100 percent and yet I know what it is deep down inside. I refuse to make this flame go out so I continue to add more fuel to this fire. With no one to really discuss what seems just crazy to the normal person, I sit here with thoughts and Ideas which I stand alone with. I am not normal, I don't fit the normal criteria of a human being, I am a realist and that makes me out of the ordinary. Brave new traveler sends me emails all the time with interesting reads and the more I read the more I wonder what the hell am I doing here. Yesterday a "friend" of mine decides to aim me and we get into our normal disagreements on our views. Fulfillment of life was the general idea behind our discussion, I believe there is no real fulfillment in a life that is spent in the same region of the world when there is so much more to be seen. Traveling has become a passion of mine and has always been even when I wasn't able to do it due to money, but now with little money and the many sacrifices I make, I am able to do these travels little by little. I can't understand how one can be happy with what sits in front of them, when books and television only give an idea of what's out there, I want to see it all and take it in person. I speak like I have been many places which I have not but something has always wanted to get away, to go else where, to meet new people and just to be free of the restrains which so many people stay shackled with. I know I can always be educated more and I am making a huge effort to allow myself to gain knowledge and develop my mind some more. I can't blame anyone but myself for being where I am on an educational level but I have the most powerful tool at my disposal, the internet and I shall use it to develop my mind as much as I can. There is a need, a need for so much more and there isn't enough time to make this all go to waste. My priorities are set on living a fulfilling life and being happy. Happiness is something that one can experience and hold forever. Materialistic things don't last forever but experiences will and shall hold a special place in ones heart. 

~Kira

Still doesn't make sense but a peace of mind is being found.

I will always be confused to my purpose in life...This may be but I have found an answer to what it is I really enjoy doing, which is traveling. Traveling for me is something I realize I can't do with just anyone and most of the times your all alone anyways, unless someone sees things the way you see them. I don't know why it took me so long to blog about my amazing travels but I guess I was still blown away. The combo was a great culture after culture experience of inspirational satisfaction within me. What price tag can you put on that? Fuck you only live once, right? If that be the case then money is no object as long as responsibilities are taking care of first. Dominican Republic, England and Ireland, map that shit out. It actually sounds a lot crazier now as I tell people but I mean when the price is right I take that leap. The sacrifices I make as far as not going out, buying clothes and other things I find unnecessary allow me to experience the world first hand. An imagination can go so far when reading about something in a book but an actual experience is a story to be told from the point of view of the person who has seen it. I am just very great full for all the people which I encountered on my journeys and I cannot wait till my next outing. Nothing in my life makes sense besides the fact that I love to travel, that is the one thing that makes me feel whole, that fills that void, that makes things true and feel better than anything else. I don't need to make sense out of my life anymore I just need to figure out where to go next...To be happy is to know what makes you happy and to know what makes you happy is to be insane till you are truly happy.

~ KiRa

Emotions get the best of people.

This is going to be a really quick blog because it is sort of late and I want to take a shower, I may follow up at one point in the future. I don't know if I have become dead to the world or if I have gained control over all emotions by using the brain to the ability of which it can be used within the realm of emotions. Over the years of my existence I have allowed myself to gain control over my emotions. I now at this current moment don't allow myself to get stressed or depressed. Why and how? Why? because I don't deem them necessary to my existence and how? by allowing myself to just get over things quicker or just realizing that not every bad thing is worth dwelling on. My mother used to always say to me "don't cry over spilled milk" I never once asked her what she meant about it, but gained the full meaning of it as I started to grow. My explanation for "Don't cry over spilled milk" is if something happens it has happened and there is absolutely nothing one can do about it so why not just move on with life? To dwell on something that has occurred which is now in the past is to leave no time to deal with the things that are to occur in the future. Also I feel that it means that not everything is that serious that one needs to devote so much time in effort into being upset or mad about it when eventually they will get over it anyways. This blog was inspired by a friend of mine who is dealing with some petty little bullshit that I can't really relate to because I don't have the same feelings nor do I find things to be that important that I will allow my hour, day, month or year become effected. I had to give up on my advice because I realize that not all people are like me nor do they see eye to eye with me and therefore they cannot allow themselves to take control over their emotions the way I have. There would be a lot more bullshit in the world if people would realize that life is life and what is going to happen shall happen, you can never prepare for everything so that it may all go perfect or to your liking and this is what makes life so interesting. To live life to the fullest is to enjoy every moment you can and that is by allowing yourself to obtain what makes you truly happy. What makes me truly happy is traveling and meeting new people, I shall be on my flight happy by thursday. Fuck it live life don't make it live you. 

~Kira

Just my luck

Today I played in the final game of zog sports football before my vacation and today I have also dislocated my shoulder. These things happen but its just my luck it would happen before my vacation, back in the day I would probably be upset about this sort of thing but eh it is what it is and im still going on vacation. Me being me I didn't go to the Hospital and have looked up techniques on how to deal with a dislocated shoulder which was very helpful. I think I may hit up the hospital tomorrow or a doctor somewhere to see what they say about my shoulder, I only hope that if they take xrays they tell me right then and there what I need to do because its not like I can do anything about it anyways,  I just wanna be able to swim.  :( That is the only thing that I want to do. I am sure that the shoulder has gone back into place but who knows? I am no doctor, which is why I will probably go to see one this week if it works out with my schedule. I still have things that need to be purchased for my trips so that obviously comes first. I just hope I don't drown attempting to swim. :O lol Only a few more days till departure number one and im still not excited. I will get there soon though trust me.