My life has been filled with people...Yet I was always alone. I lack the human feeling of loneliness, it just wont make sense to me. I enjoy being to myself yet I can be surrounded and be the life of a party. I have a feeling that I am becoming less and less humane than I already think I am not. Why does my mind work the way it works? Am I being ridiculous by thinking there shouldn't be so many feelings? or any? I have feelings, right? I know I do. I care genuinely for those I know are real, but then why am I so easy to push people away and not look back at the drop of a dime? I don't look to eliminate associates, but im just too old for the bullshit. If I make someones life hard, uneasy, or anywhichway negative, why not open their eyes and show them the best solution? I have evolved into something that I cannot say im proud of but something a little more "real". Real in terms of dealing with situations but dead in every other way. I think I should just become a Vampire. I mean seriously my emotions are not quite there, I love the nite and darkness and I feel dead. Why not?
~Kira
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